9 MONTHS Later

I'm still the WORST blogger ever...but ya know what?  I'm a MOM that's the worst blogger ever.  And that's something, right?

Nearly 3 weeks after my last post, B & C arrived via emergency c-section due to sudden, severe pre-eclampsia at 34 weeks, 3 days.  B spent 6 days in NICU and C spent 9.  They're healthy, beautiful and perfect and I get to be their mom.  That's crazy.  Crazy amazing.

Worst Blogger EVER Award

I haven't won but I'm definitely nominating myself.

I'm not going to lie.  Pregnancy is an amazing and terrifying thing.  I'm beyond grateful to be experiencing it and sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream.  A dream that is about to become VERY real in the next 6 weeks or less.  I'm about to me a mom of two little miracles.  Never thought I'd get the chance to say that.  But the dark side creeps in and reminds me that it's not over yet.  There's still so much that can go wrong.  This is something I've been fighting my entire pregnancy off and on.  How could someone that's faced infertility have a seamless, healthy pregnancy?  I just didn't think the odds were in my favor.  Turns out I'm damn good at carrying babies...ha!  Who'd have thought?

I apologize for shutting everyone out...especially you guys that have been through hell and back with me.  I've been unfair and selfish and I'm sorry.

Thank you to those of you that "checked in" and made sure I was still alive.  I am...alive and well and almost 32 weeks pregnant with twins.  Me.  Still in shock.

It's a...AND It's a...

FINALLY!

TOTAL Thyroidectomy

I've been gone for far too long.  I know.  The babies and I are doing well...I wish I could say the same for my sweet hubby.

On Wednesday he went in for a 6-hour surgery: a thyroidectomy and neck dissection.  It went smoothly and as far as we can tell, there's no permanent voice or nerve damage.  The doctor was able to preserve all 4 of his parathyroids.  Thank God.  We spent 2 nights in the hospital (the babies were NOT a fan) and we we're home midday Friday.  He's pretty miserable...you'd be amazed by all that the thyroid controls/balances.  He still has one drain in and hopes to get it out tomorrow.  He's now considered "hypo" until radiation in the next few weeks.  After radiation, he'll see an endocrinologist to help him find the right replacement meds.  We expect quite the physical and emotional roller-coaster for the foreseeable future.  Be thinking of us...especially him, poor kiddo.

I'm happy to report that I'm 16w5d and doing fabulously (updated pics coming SOON).  Headaches aside, the second trimester is a breeze so far.  Oh, and we know what we're having...at least we think we know.  A friend of a friend is a sonographer and took a peek for us at 15w1d.  The little ones were cooperating and she could tell almost right away!  Unfortunately, I won't be posting it now in fear that someone I know has found my blog.  If you follow regularly (and are curious), shoot me an email and I'll let you know.  Our "official" gender scan is August 10th and we'll be telling our family on August 15th or 16th.  How exciting!!

13 WEEKS!!

How far along:

13 weeks

Weight gain:
+6 lbs (hey...I just got back from a 7-night cruise and gained 2 lbs in one week...oops!)

What I miss:
I want nothing more than to scoop up my 19 month old niece and snuggle with her all day.  Doc says no more than 10 pounds...she's nearly 30.  So sad.

What’s up with my body:
More belly goodness.  The top is jiggly, the bottom is harder (that's where my babies are).  Here's another discreet pic: 

What’s up with the babies:
This week, they're about the size of a medium shrimp or a small peach.  At about 3 inches, my babies now have fingerprints and veins and organs are now visible through the skin.  Their heads now make up 1/3 of their body size.  We can't wait to get another peek at them next week (14w2d).

Cravings:
NOTHING.

Aversions:
Still nothing sounds good...ever.  I did eat my first hamburger on the cruise (which I had been avoiding like the plague).

Nausea:
Took Zofran on the trip but didn't need it.  Could my nausea be gone?  It began in week 6 and continued through week 12.  This last week has been pretty fabulous though.  Maybe Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel have something to do with that!

Puking:
Still nothing!  LOTS of heartburn though.  Tums are a pregnant girls best friend.

Boobs:
Same...no pain, just large.  They haven't grown since week 9 or 10.

Other: 
At 12w5d the doppler came out of hiding and I tried it again.  I found one baby close to the same spot as last time.  I think the other baby is just a notch over but could be picking up the same heartbeat.  Overall, I'm still unimpressed with the doppler but that doesn't stop me from listening to the recording of my baby's heartbeat over and over and over again.

I came back from my trip to FABULOUS news!!  JM @ Meier Madness FINALLY got a solid BFP with a fabulous doubling time.  Woohoo!  If you haven't told her CONGRATS!...now would be a great time.

Doppler FAIL Update

On Wednesday, my sweet friend (that waited 7 years for her IVF miracle!) brought over her doppler for me to use.  She's being induced a week from Monday and has no need for it any longer.  The second she left, I got comfortable on the couch and lubed up (sounds dirty).  5 minutes went by...10...15.  NOTHING.  I knew it had to be a piece of shit doppler or broken...naturally.  Where the hell were my babies?  I googled it a bit, read that these things don't work too well until 12 weeks or later and then shockingly got over it.

Yesterday morning, I tried again and was able to find one of my two babies  Like a crazy person, I tried again last night AND this morning...no heartbeat.  I couldn't find either of my babies.  I went into an anxiety tailspin and have been trying to calm down ever since.  I have determined that I loathe the doppler and have asked my husband to hide it from me.  It's definitely causing {what I hope is} unnecessary stress.  Has this happened to you or someone you know?

I'm laughing thinking many of you that have had success have had much less surface area to cover!!

UPDATE: after the encouragement below (thanks, ladies!!) I decided to give it one more shot.  It took me about 25 minutes to find one baby.  It was very low and about 1/2" to the right (from the center).  The doppler was giving me crazy ass results, so I counted the beats in 10 seconds and multiplied it by 6...168bpm!  I was SO relieved that I didn't even worry about finding the other kiddo (sorry, bud).

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::WHEW:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
We have AT LEAST one heartbeat.

I'm still not sold on this thing AT ALL.  It's entirely too stressful.

I've read different things about whether or not fetal dopplers harm the baby.  What have you read?