Doppler FAIL Update

On Wednesday, my sweet friend (that waited 7 years for her IVF miracle!) brought over her doppler for me to use.  She's being induced a week from Monday and has no need for it any longer.  The second she left, I got comfortable on the couch and lubed up (sounds dirty).  5 minutes went by...10...15.  NOTHING.  I knew it had to be a piece of shit doppler or broken...naturally.  Where the hell were my babies?  I googled it a bit, read that these things don't work too well until 12 weeks or later and then shockingly got over it.

Yesterday morning, I tried again and was able to find one of my two babies  Like a crazy person, I tried again last night AND this morning...no heartbeat.  I couldn't find either of my babies.  I went into an anxiety tailspin and have been trying to calm down ever since.  I have determined that I loathe the doppler and have asked my husband to hide it from me.  It's definitely causing {what I hope is} unnecessary stress.  Has this happened to you or someone you know?

I'm laughing thinking many of you that have had success have had much less surface area to cover!!

UPDATE: after the encouragement below (thanks, ladies!!) I decided to give it one more shot.  It took me about 25 minutes to find one baby.  It was very low and about 1/2" to the right (from the center).  The doppler was giving me crazy ass results, so I counted the beats in 10 seconds and multiplied it by 6...168bpm!  I was SO relieved that I didn't even worry about finding the other kiddo (sorry, bud).

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::WHEW:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
We have AT LEAST one heartbeat.

I'm still not sold on this thing AT ALL.  It's entirely too stressful.

I've read different things about whether or not fetal dopplers harm the baby.  What have you read?

11 WEEKS!!!

I'm still alive!!!  It's been a crazy month but we're hanging in there.

How far along:
11 weeks+1day

Weight gain:
+4 lbs

What I miss:
I'm a beer girl...and I'm not talking light beer.  I thought I'd truly miss it (especially when EVERYONE else is drinking) but I don't.  Not one bit.  The only time I've wished for beer is when I'm feeling anxious...just to take the edge off.  Speaking of which, that's what I really miss...my anxiety pills.

What’s up with my body:
Belly.  There is a DISTINCT difference from yesterday to today.  I'm posting a discreet pic though my feelings on this align pretty closely with Her Royal Fabulousness on this topic.  That said, I LOVE it when other people post them...please keep 'em coming.

What’s up with the babies:
This week, they're about the size of a fig (not that I have a good handle on a fig's size...).  At about 1.5 inches, they're nearly fully formed.  We had an u/s at 10w2d and they were wiggling all over the place (especially baby A).  We could see the hands!!!  Love.  My subchorionic hematoma has resolved itself (thank God!!) but my blood pressure was a little high and I need to keep an eye on it.

Cravings:
Snow cones.  Daily.

Aversions:
Most everything but snow cones.  I'm always really hungry (especially late at night) but can't ever think of anything that sounds good.

Nausea:
I've just had waves of nausea throughout the day.  Picked up some Zofran yesterday...so we'll see what that's all about.

Puking:
Not yet...whew!

Boobs:
They've grown 2 sizes but don't hurt one bit.  A girlfriend at the pool asked me if I had gotten a boob job.  They're gigantic, I tell you.

Other: 
My next appointment isn't until July 12th.  I'll be 14w2d.  How will I survive?!?  My girlfriend is bringing over her doppler tonight so I can't wait to check it out!  Should be tons of fun.

In thyroid cancer news, my hubby and I met with a fabulous surgeon and she is going to perform his 3-7 hour surgery on July 25th.  She does this exact surgery 4 days/week.  We felt very comfortable with her and are excited to get that nasty cancer out of his body.  We went to a local support group meeting on Saturday and came home with an overwhelming amount of information.  We even met  a guy that had the same surgery with the same doctor just 3 weeks ago...so reassuring! 

We're getting outta here!!!  We leave Sunday morning for  a 7-night cruise with the fam.  It will be so nice to get away from it all...

Subchorionic Hematoma

I woke up Monday morning and headed to the bathroom.  I looked in the toilet and it was reddish-orange.  Still half asleep, I asked my hubby if he was peeing blood.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  I realized that I must have gone in the middle of the night and that was my blood in the toilet.  Terrified, I sat down to go again.  When I wiped, I saw dark brown over and over again.

I was 8 weeks, 6 days and up until this moment, had no signs of blood or spotting.  I'm currently between doctors and didn't know who to call...so I called both.  It was only 7am and obviously no one was answering.  When the recorded message offered an emergency number I called that.  This is very unlike me.  I do not like to bog down doctors with a million questions or bother them in any way.  I'm not as assertive as I should be; especially considering all the shit I've been through.  Apparently, when it comes to my babies, all of that changes (go ME!).  I left a message with the answering service and my OB called me within 15 minutes.

This guy is totally new to me but I fell in love within our short 3-minute talk.  He was heading into surgery but wanted me to come by the office to get everything checked out.  He told me not to try not to worry and that most-likely everything would be fine.  He was warm, kind and reassuring.  He's a keeper.

I started to tear up as the sonographer called my name to head back...not knowing what I was about to see.  I hopped up on the table and within seconds, she found baby A.  He/she is measuring 8 weeks, 5 days.  The sonographer clicked on the chest area and for the first time, I heard the most beautiful sound in the entire world...my baby's heartbeat at 181bpm.  She said, "Well this one's a girl if you believe in all that."  I was so relieved but still tense about what might be going on with baby B.  We soon found him/her and he/she is measuring 8 weeks, 6 days with another amazing heart rate of 173bpm.  The sonographer said, "Another girl!"  Oh dear.

Here's a peek at the little guys (or girls).  They're starting to look more like babies:

After seeing my growing babies, the sonographer dug around a little more to see what might be causing the bleeding.  Next to baby A, there was a small subchorionic hematoma.  I asked how concerned I should be and was told it's fairly common and small enough that it should resolve itself within the next few weeks.  My OB said that if the bleeding remains the same, not to worry, but to call him immediately if the condition worsens.

I also had my blood drawn for the bzillionth time.  My estradiol came back at 1444 and my progesterone at 36.8...so, everything looks good.  Whew!    

I'm 9 weeks today and am very grateful to still have both of my babies.  I was given a 5% chance of miscarriage but really struggle to believe that the odds are that much in my favor.  I love these little guys so much and pray they're both my take-home babies.  They sure did give this momma a scare!

CANCER UPDATE:
We have an 8am appointment tomorrow with the best of the best.  She was recommended to us by the president of the Thyroid Cancer Support Group in Dallas.  Hopefully, we love her and can move forward with surgery in the next week or so.  My hubby and I appreciate your words of encouragement and hope.

Please bear with me on the commenting front.  I haven't been reading as much the past two weeks and I feel so behind.  I care for each of you and thank you for sticking with me through the craziness.