Friday, April 27, 2012

SIGNIFICANTLY Less Crazy

I gotta say...I'm super proud of myself.  I spent my ULTRA conservative amount of bed rest as a much less crazy person than last time.  I'm maturing a bit, gosh darn it.

11 weeks ago {with my fresh cycle} I spent day and night, googling.  My new, birthday iPad was the worst and best thing that ever happened to me that week.  Even when my husband came home from work, I was silent and my eyes were glued to the screen.  I felt anxious, obsessively conjured up symptoms and knew this "just had to work".

This time around, I had a pretty consistent daily routine {I freaking THRIVE on routine}.  I loved it.  If {God forbid} this FET doesn't work out, the next time 'round, I'll do something similar.  I finally got around to reading The Hunger Games, I watched season 6 of Dexter, season 1 of Breaking Bad and had at least 1 visitor daily.  My mentality has totally changed.  I now view IVF as a journey and not a quick fix.  I've given up control and have a found an abundance of peace.  When I hold my baby in my arms, it won't matter how long I waited.  Of course, January 10, 2013 is a viable option!!!  Just saying.

I'm 4dp5dt and my first beta is Wednesday.  I'm avoiding POAS but the pull isn't too strong {for now}.  I've NEVER seen a positive test when I've tried in the past.  NEVER.  I'm ready for my second line...

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10 comments:

  1. SometimesApril 27, 2012 at 8:14 PM

    Let's go, second line!!!

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  2. sass @ (In)fertility UnexplainedApril 28, 2012 at 3:45 AM

    I hope you get that second line this time!
    It's amazing how our coping skills evolve during this process isn't it?
    Good luck Wednesday!

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  3. meggolaApril 28, 2012 at 7:11 AM

    I'm finding it easier this time around too. It's nice knowing what to expect, mostly. I'm much less anxious about everything and obsessing less too. Keeping everything crossed for good news for you on Wednesday!!!

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  4. AnonymousApril 28, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    I am glad it is so much less stressful this time around. I really hope you get that 2nd line :).

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  5. Still SinkingApril 28, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    It sounds like your routine is helping and you are getting stuff done that you might not otherwise get to do. I'm glad you are finding some peace this time around. Looking forward to hearing your beta results!

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  6. DandelionBreezeApril 28, 2012 at 10:31 PM

    Thinking of you for your beta xoxo

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  7. Emily @ablanket2keepApril 29, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    Here from Cyclesista. Keeping everything crossed for you for good news on Wednesday!

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  8. AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    I exhaled just by reading your post. Good for you and good luck on Wednesday!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mrs. HMay 1, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    Found your blog through Cyclesista. Hoping for high beta for you on Wednesday!

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  10. kateryMay 1, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    this is an early iclw visit, it's nice to meet you! i can't believe you haven't poas, you must have amazing willpower, i would have done it by now for sure, no matter how many times a saw that stupid stark one line, i just couldn't stop myself from testing. then, one day, a second line appeared. i hope you get your second line with this cycle too! good luck tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete

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