Friday, February 17, 2012

WTF Appointment

Well that BFN came out of nowhere...{as an eternal optimist} I was CERTAIN this infertility blog was about to get a baby overhaul.  I was getting the hells outta here.  NO SUCH LUCK.  You're stuck with me.

My WTF appointment with my RE and embryologist is scheduled for Wednesday afternoon.  Word on the street is that for a mere $5 grand, we can turn this sucker right around and give it another go next month.  GOOD LORD.  I am in NO position to be making those kind of decisions right now.  I'm relatively new to the world of IVF and had no idea that you could immediately follow a huge fail with a FET, just like that.  The only thing that should follow a failed IVF is vodka...or Hawaii. 

The good news?  Today is better than yesterday which was a hell of a lot better than the day before.  Oh, and my hubby never ceases to amaze me.  Maybe I am a little lucky...

I want to say a HUGE thank you to all of my readers.  On Wednesday you were swearing right along with me and I appreciate you!  Thanks for the comments.  xoxo

28 comments:

  1. Oh girl! I've been away from my blog for a few days, I am so very sorry!! I wish that this was different for you too! We're here for you and your in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. Thank you so much. I've had some ugly moments but I'm coming around!!

      On a happier note, I'm thrilled to hear that your retrieval is Thursday...how exciting. I'll be cheering you along. GL!

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  2. Take a moment, regain your strength and I saw go for it! Just make sure you are strong enough to handle everything! You will be someday whether it is 1 month from now or 10. It will happen.

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement! If Wed's mtg goes well, I think we're all in for March. Now I've just got to think that it WILL happen bc I'm not quite there yet. In the meantime, I'll lean on your positivity!!

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  3. Just catching up - I am so sorry about the BFN. My first IVF cycle ended up a total disaster and I know how painful it is. No one gets how disappointing it is after all those shots!

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    1. Thanks. Yes, you totally know the feeling...and my heart hurts for you! I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. It's the WORST.

      You are a fabulous writer...can't wait to read about your next cycle that I'm confident will have a much different outcome.

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  4. Drink some vodka and get on that FET horse, yo!

    In all seriousness, my heart is broken for you. I am gearing up for my beta bad news on Monday. There is nothing that can take away the hurt. But you have TEN frosties! You WILL be a mom. And soon! Maybe even a month from now. At which point it won't matter how you became a mommy.

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    1. The first sentence thrills my heart. LOVE.

      You're going to be a mom too, ya know? I love your outlook and attitude...very inspiring.

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  5. I am still shocked and pissed off for you :(. I 100% believed that this was it for you too. It's crazy hey how we have to just pick up and start again. We have done 4 ETs in the last 6 months, and every time it failed I was devastated, but every time I ended up starting right back over because I knew as devastated as I was, I'd be pissed off that I hadn't done it 6 weeks down the road when I was starting all over again. I always couldn't believe that I was going from total devastation to trying in a matter of days. Take some you time and then get a few of them Grad A frosties in :). There is a girl I met at my clinic who had a failed fresh cycle but has since had a baby girl and boy/girl twins with her two FETs, and FETs are much less stressful. Good luck, I will be following along for when this blog gets its baby overhaul :).

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    1. Hi there friend. Thanks for the success stories! And yeah...I know I'll be pissed if I push these FETs off. I think we're all in if the dr gives us the okay. Hoping my story is similar to the chick's at your clinic!!

      I'm thrilled for you...I really am. Can't wait to hear updates!!

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  6. No doubt that BFN slapped you in the face, but be strong...after you have your Hawaiian themed, vodka drinking night. I believe, we (as in 'infertiles') are so much stronger and braver than we know. And if you follow your heart with your mind steering you, you can't go wrong with any upcoming decisions.

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    1. Your words are so kind and motivating! It just takes a few days (some of us longer) to remember how strong and brave we are. I'm getting there!! Started BCP this morning. That seemed to give me a boost. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Thanks for commenting. I appreciate you.

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  7. I'm all for Vodka or wine or whatever.... I'm also finding that I love acupuncture. When everything else failed, this made me feel like I was in control of something. Good Luck on the FET.

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    1. I'm starting to read up on acupuncture...I'm intrigued. I'll let you know if I give it a try. Did your dr recommend it? I'm going to ask about it Wed.

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  8. Nobody wants to get to the WTF apt. Stay strong girl. You have some great embabies waiting for you. I am glad to see you are back. I know I would be completely devastated but you have options and you will be a mom! I am looking forward to hearing the Dr's input on this failure.

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    1. Thank you!! I'm grateful for my 10 embabies...hoping one of them is a take-home baby.

      Your sonogram pics make me smile. I'm thrilled for you!

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    1. You, ma'am, are a gem. Shouldn't you be taking care of YOU?

      Today is better. I started BCP and that has my spirits up...depending on Wed's mtg, we may or may not move right into the next cycle. To be continued...

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  10. Hi! Just found your blog...sorry that cycle was a bust! Hope you are doing ok!

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    1. Welcome, Audrey! Thanks for commenting. Each day seems to be a bit better than the last.

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  11. I'm so very sorry for that this cycle didn't work. The heartbreak followed so much hope is very hard. I hope you're WTF appointment is insightful and you are able to come up with a good strategy. In the meantime, go take some time for yourself.

    ICLW #3

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  12. I love the title and design of your blog.

    Sorry to hear about your BFN. It's good to be an eternal optimist, but it's okay to have that vodka too. I've been on a martini a day diet in preparation for no alcohol at all when the actual cycle starts...

    Here from ICLW #78 and glad to have found your blog.

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  13. I know I have posted already, but I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. You have been in my thoughts!

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  14. Ugh. We are MFI too and looking at IVF within the next few months. I'm sorry your cycle didn't work out, and I"m totally with you on vodka AND Hawaii!

    (hi from ICLW!)

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  15. The WTF appoinments always confuse me. Ours went like this "yeah, so it didn't work." And then when we tried to address concerns we had with the cycle it was all dismissed. Oh, and vodka totally helps
    happy icomleavwe

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  16. I can't imagine making a decision like that so quickly. I agree with you - Vodka and/or Hawaii!

    {From ICLW} Lavonne @ *Our Wish*

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  17. Hi, found you on ICLW. Sorry about the BFN. It always helps to have an amazing husband to lean on!

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  18. I hope that your WTF appointment went well yesterday, answered some questions and gave you hope for the future. I KNOW how hard-diappointing-unbelievable this whole experience can be. Take care!

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