One day, I hope to "come-out" about this journey on that blog, too. I hope to encourage those that might be struggling, inform and teach the mouthy, fertile-crew (that just so happen to be my blissfully ignorant friends) a lesson or two in dealing with the 1 in 6 of us that don't have it so easy on the baby-making front. So here goes...
What we DON'T want to hear...because sadly, I've heard it all:
- When are you going to start a family?
- You know, you're not getting any younger.
- You won't have any trouble the K family is FULL of fertile myrtles!
- I totally know what you're going through. It took me 2 months to get pregnant. That first month, when I started, I was beside myself.
- You just need to relax or go on vacation.
- You know, most people get pregnant once they stop trying.
- What positions have you tried?
- Have you tried acupuncture?
- Did you put your legs in the air?
- I just don't know how I feel about IVF {or whatever it's called}. I mean, it's just so unnatural.
- When my friend stopped running marathons, she got pregnant right away.
- Adoption? No, we want our own kids.
- Should you be drinking?
- I never want to ask because I don't want to ruin the surprise. Are you pregnant?
Got anymore to add to the list? I'm sure I've forgotten something...
I had a girlfriend last month tell me that I should actively focus on loving my uterus. I wanted to deck her......things like that that make me wish nobody knew! And very very few people do.
ReplyDeleteTry putting your legs in the air For 20 mins - works every time :)
WHAT? Uterus love has GOT to be the key. Insanity. Thanks for sharing!!!
DeleteI can only speak from the point of view from someone dealing with secondary infertlity... but asking when you are going to give your child a sibling is a big NO-NO in my book. A few other general ones are - Try yoga, stop drinking coffee, did you try an ovulation kit?
ReplyDeleteAgree! Ah, yes...yoga is another one I've heard too. Thanks, Mrs. T!
DeleteI think the problem is that these people know how badly we want kids and in wanting that for us as well, they make suggestions that they think are helpful. Unfortunately, they will never get it - they just can't. I used to let it bother me, but now I just laugh it off, accept their well meaning "advice", and move on. I hate it and I hate their obvious ignorance, but you can't change it. Besides, that's why you have people like us who have gone through it to share your true feelings and share in some much needed snark. Hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteHi Mandy! Thanks for commenting. You're so right...there's not much we can do about it. And YES, it's quite the relief to get it out of my system with all of you! I'm so grateful for that. xoxo
Delete"I just don't know how I feel about IVF {or whatever it's called}. I mean, it's just so unnatural."
ReplyDeleteThis, more often than not, is usually said to me by someone with fake boobs. I'm not kidding. And while I'm not against fake boobs, I fail to see how you can call IVF unnatural with SALINE BAGS IN YOUR CHEST.
BAAHAHAHA...needed that good laugh. You've GOT to be kidding me. That thrills my heart. Thank you for commenting!!!
DeleteI once had a friend that told me she knew exactly what I was going through because her sister went through this (or at least some sort of difficulty getting pregnant). This was also the same person who got pregnant on her wedding night. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, if you are close enough to the people and you are in a good mood, telling them everything and I mean everything, can work wonders. The friend mentioned above, she now admits not understanding, but can feel for me and sympathize. Her comfort that way is much more helpful than "I know what you are going through and feeling".
Welcome, Heather! Congrats to you, BTW :)
DeleteYou're right. I'm sure that if I was completely open with the people I care about most, it would make a huge difference. I know with how vague I've been, there are a lot of assumptions going on. And yes, asking for comfort rather than sympathy is a good way to put it. Thank you for your insight!
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